It would be difficult, probably, in all cases, because the ability to get along with children insufficient to sustain the child began to trust you and befriended you, took as second half of its parent.
What to do and what absolutely can not do?
What you need to be ready
Jealousy and aggression. When the family, a stranger, who switches the attention of his dear mom or dad, not all children are able to control their emotional state. Especially strongly this aggression can be manifested towards a half-sister or brother. The result is obvious – arguments, fights, tears.
Complete disregard. After the collapse of the family, the child may be in shock from what his favorite mom and dad are no longer together. But if one parent appears in the life of the new man, the baby defiantly can not make contact with him, believing him to be the cause of all ills.
Provocations and manipulations. If the parents of a child absorbed in a new relationship, do not pay enough attention to the child, the children often become of the lovely angels in the devil children. Provocations, manipulation and creation of artificial emergencies at any time of the day or night is not a complete list of what the child is to attract attention of a parent.
What not to do
- Excessive care
Worse than appeasement gifts can only be increased fussiness around children of your elect. The exception is the child who became a half-orphan. At first he needed extra care and attention.
Not, elicits from the child from the first minutes of conversation, all the details of his life and what is happening now. It can cause alertness, and later aggression on the part of the child. Children are not ready to let any stranger into your inner world.
Do not use age limits when you first meet a child, do not behave like in a Board. Follow the appropriate chain of command, ensure that it does not become excessive severity and coldness toward the child.
If you and your partner have children from a previous marriage, psychologists recommend not to belittle the dignity of one child towards another. To anything good it will not, except to jealousy and aggression hurt the baby.
How to build rapport
Tact. First time try with the children to show diplomacy and not to put their feelings, because they can severely injure a child experiencing the divorce of parents. Leave the flirting, kissing and other displays of attention outside the bedroom door. The maximum affection when the baby is considered arms.
Common Hobbies. Joint interests and leisure will help to unite your new family. Only choose those kinds of entertainment that are interesting for the whole family, not just you or only the child.
Do not try to replace the parent. Do not try from the first minute Dating to become a little family. All the time. Try at first to conciliate the child, be caring, make friends. Soon he if will want, will treat you as my man.
Communicate on equal terms. Avoid errors, underlining your main role in the house. Don’t say that once you have chosen, the child will have to live with. Trying to manipulate this way, you can amass the only enemy in the person of the child.
If you are ready to connect his life with a partner and it is just a temporary fad, it is not necessary to establish close emotional contact with the child, not to inflict another trauma.
Model Natalia Vodianova:
– My second husband, Antoine Arnault (French businessman. – Ed.) loves my children from my first marriage, and they are drawn to it. Despite the fact that he took in their surroundings, the role of authority and they are a little afraid of him. Often someone from children asks me: “Mom, you don’t tell Antoine” (laughs). And all because my husband is a strict advocate of the discipline, and I am very glad that I now have someone to share the responsibility.
Actress Laetitia Casta:
– Louis (actor Louis Garrel. – Ed.) both have children from the first relationship. They get along well, despite the fact that every child is different. It’s like a football team at home, where I coach. For me the main thing – all to sync everything to everywhere. Of course, there are all sorts of moments, but usually we are well along with the whole deal.