Everything always happens for a reason. And jealousy, too. It’s time to determine once and for all get rid of them and start to get pleasure from the relationship.
The fear of losing a loved one, to remain one with children, to remain an old maid creates in your mind a doubt. You look for confirmation that all is well, that he really loves you. And entering into the taste, forget to enjoy the process, enjoy life today, demanding permanent evidence of loyalty partner. The reasons are: he liked the former (they just talk), he was late for dinner (kissing with neighbor), not hugged me in my sleep (because I was nooneelse on the other). Stop! If you trust your partner, then there is nothing to fear. Just love and be happy.
The lack of attention of parents, unpleasant past experience or the increased demands of themselves give rise to low self esteem. And then is born from her jealousy. You’re constantly looking for the flaws in yourself, comparing yourself with others (generally prohibited maneuver, by the way), and then are afraid that your partner will see you in the same light. Determine your main advantages, take care of yourself, to evolve. Show him how you need to love yourself. And the sparkles of admiration in his eyes will be a good prevention by a fit of jealousy.
The inability to diversify the sexual life, fear/shame to voice their fantasies, admit that not satisfied in bed, social taboos and prohibitions also add drops of jealousy in relationship. You may feel that the partner experiences the same discomfort and will seek to deal with it on the side, even if it all suits. Talk, negotiate, discuss, try. Select something that brings pleasure to both of you, to go to meet each other (concessions). Don’t get lost in the home: beautiful lingerie, candles, toys, an unexpected sms with “bed wishes” and other antics are very helpful. If you’re busy thinking about each other or plans about spending time, what there is jealousy and verification? Once. Is it only in the form of games.
The influence of cultural traditions.
From childhood we are all familiar phrases such as “Jealous – it means values”, “Beats – means loves”. These postulates are so firmly implanted in our heads that often lack of jealousy is frightening. You think that if you do not comment on the bosom of his new Secretary, he will think you don’t care. And on the other hand: if the partner had not suspected you in “off road adventures”, I begin to suspect it. “You stupid girl, my angel. Of course, I wouldn’t care what you three times in a row gonna waltz in with kavalergarda. This still does not mean that I am indifferent and not jealous” – that is so beautifully justified before Pushkin and Natalia Goncharova, which was not enough for the attention of the poet. It is difficult to develop the mind-set that was passed down from great-grandmothers. But we will try. After all, they were married at 13 for the wealthy unfamiliar grandfather, and therefore had to justify his “bet” that “loves”. Try to replace one day claim words of admiration for my partner. For example, instead of “again, all the women near him were gathered” to “you’re charming”. Or roleplay. Play jealousy – will thirst.
Wine I poured her friend, and she told me that after she cheated on his partner, was a terrible jealous one. Offense is the best defense. If one of you is too jealous, it is, oddly enough, may mean that he has “a finger in the pie”. I think it is not necessary to argue that a relationship built on deception, bring a little fun. Decide. Talk. Make conclusions. If you are ready to move on, forgiving each other, good luck. But it was in such relations more often there are scandals because of jealousy. Rate the risks.
Present family. Beautiful long-legged wife who in my life read two books. Husband – candidate of science in economic Cybernetics, ten years older than spouses. The woman, hearing her lover speaks with a colleague at work, not understanding a word, except conjunctions, begins to suspect him of treason. She can’t be part of his “life of labor”, do not have enough knowledge, so the fear of the unknown pushes her to jealousy. Eric Berne in his book “People which play games” refers to the type of such a Union “Parent-Child”, in which the wife, like the little girl begins to “moan” about the lack of feelings. Then you need to carefully and quietly look to the spouse. It is possible that he is good to come home, look at a sophisticated manicure loved to hear about where they go on vacation and enjoy it in a new dress, completely disabling the brain from working. But, if you really understand that instead of the planned holiday, it is the fourth time in 3 months flying with a colleague work in Bali, pack your suitcase and say goodbye to a man.